So today in class, we came to the climax of this assessment. Presentation to our peers of our film journey in third year. We watched as our peers briefly introduced their blogs and websites and then went through and gave them several comments and a mark out of ten. One of the comments I got came with the comment (among the things I did well) "maybe you should try being a bit more positive and uplifting. Just a thought for employability purposes."
Now, this post isn't a hissy-fit at that person. Merely a response that they'll probably never see. But I was never writing this blog to get a job or to get any exposure, and after university, I will probably very rarely write in it, if at all. I'll probably even end up deleting it. This blog was only EVER for uni. However, in response to the person's comment, I'd just like to look back on the year as I've experienced.
The first blow was dealt when I couldn't get any crew for the film I'd spent about 3-5 months in pre-production for, coming to uni ready to shoot. I honestly could have had the film finished and ready for submission in the first semester. But no-one was interested. I did my pitch, I asked around, it was a good pitch and got positive responses. But no-one wanted to crew on it. So I was screwed from the outset. Then I get offered a role as a Producer which honestly I only took because I was getting scared that if I didn't take it I'd have been left without a project. Between these two events (which happened roughly 4-5 months apart) I had an emotional breakdown and found...well...life, difficult to cope with. My holidays were taken up working for a film I didn't believe in. My father had a heart-attack, the film I had spent the majority of the year working on became unbearable to work on any longer, and now in the final weeks of uni I'm shooting a film which was improvised in the space of a month or so.
Considering that this blog was supposed to be about our film and university experience this year, I'd say to hell with positivity and call it as it is. This has been a really mentally and physically difficult year for me, and had it not been for my family I'm not sure how good a condition I'd be in right now. However, it has been an entire year, and it hasn't been ALL bad.
My girlfriend and I have come out of the hardships presented to both of us stronger and more in love than ever. Hell, she was my primary support through all of this. I made a new friend, who is a really awesome guy and a great composer. My passion for music has been re-ignited, and through the hardships I faced in the year I've developed a stylistic philosophy when it comes to film work. The end of the year is bringing with it the first time in years that I will be able to finally realize my ambition of doing National Novel Writing Month, and I will FINALLY be able to go back to what I love most, comic book writing. I'll have the time to send out scripts, re-join martial arts training, realize my life-long desire to join/start a band as a vocalist. Despite the hardships, things are falling into place, and I got through it all. I guess that says a lot about my character. I can stand up to adversity, I can roll with the punches and I can take it. Things have to reach a certain threshold before I have to leave, but that threshold really needs to either border on or just flat out be abusive. But until things reach that point, hell I can take anything as long as it's good for me.
So, there's your positivity mate. It's been a shit year, but I've learned a lot about myself, and I've come out of it stronger, more experienced and enthusiastic to get working. Can't get more positive than that eh?